Saturday, November 26, 2011
My mom came to our place on Thanksgiving, which I was fairly excited about. She never came to a Thanksgiving when I was married the first time, so I thought it was a big deal. I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, straightened up the living room and dusted the coffee table. I made the food the way she used to when we had the meal at our house. I thought things were well prepared.
Well, one of the first things she said to me was, "You need to get him to get all that grass out from under the lawn mower. I don't see how it runs." I said, "You looked under the lawn mower?" She didn't really give me a straight answer, but I can picture her running her hand underneath it to check. She was later really nice about helping me with the dishes, which I appreciated because I hate that part. While we were in the kitchen, she went to throw something away and said, "I'm going to wipe that down. Look," and she pointed out that the underside of the trashcan lid was dirty. So she cleaned it and I felt like a slacker.
She met my future in-laws, we ate, she did compliment the food so I felt relieved at that. However, when I was at her house yesterday she said, "I just couldn't get over all that cat hair. Nathan's shirt was covered in it. I didn't know if I wanted to eat after seeing all that." We have three cats inside, so yeah we have a pretty good amount of cat hair. And yeah, I didn't clean the couch as well as I should've. But shit fire, I did what I thought was important to get things ready for company. Plus, she even told me not to wear myself out cleaning because it was just family coming over. Now I feel like I need to go all Martha Stewart on the house and lawn.
If all that wasn't enough, she's now anti-marriage. He worked for a rehab center which is under investigation for some things, and has been laid off for about a month. She interprets this as us being in the poor house for ever and ever. I don't think that way. At the end of the company's investigation they'll either reopen and put him back on the schedule, or he'll find something else to do. I asked her what she would've thought about people judging her and my dad because he worked for a paving company and was laid off every winter for about two months. She said that was different. Of course it was.
She told me I needed to ask if I was "bettering myself" by doing this. I told her it was a marriage, not a business move. I don't care that he doesn't have a college degree like I do. He's smart. He likes to read. He understands and loves me. What else could I want? Hell, I was married to a paramedic who made good money, we had a bigger house than Nathan and I do, and yet...there was so much missing. I don't know that I can explain it to her well, or that it would matter.
I don't see why she has to voice all her negative opinions. I guess I halfway get the whole I'm the only child and she just wants what's best for me idea, but when she says stuff like this it bums me out. I wish that she would consider my feelings before she comments. I don't want to tell her that though, because I'll sound weak and whiny, like this post does. I don't even know why I'm still typing when I could be cleaning. Ha, ha, ha.