When is a sweater more than just a garment?

I finished my two at a time socks today! They are knit from the toe up, and this is my first time doing socks with this method. I didn't do a pattern, because it was scary enough without one. Maybe next time. When I was finished with them I went to try them on, and I couldn't get them over my heels because I had bound off the stitches too tightly. I wasn't very excited to have to undo that because I've never undone binding off. Turns out it's like frogging any other row of stitches. To any non-knitters reading this, frogging is just tearing out a row (rip it, rip it). Today I also found a pattern for a vest that I really like here, but I am going to make myself wait to start it. I still have Emma's socks to do, and I'm going to knit a sweater for Nathan.

We have talked about this sweater. I know what he wants it to look like, and he even went with me to the yarn shop to pick out the color. I have the yarn in my stash, and have bookmarked several possible patterns to use. Now I'm starting to worry. We're fairly committed to each other in that we spend a lot of time together and we don't date other people, but we don't have any wedding plans. I would like to think we are making our way toward that. . .but we aren't there yet. To me, making someone a sweater is a sign of love or serious commitment. Or both.

I have heard people recommend that sweaters shouldn't be made for men during a relationship because it will scare them off. I don't actually think this will be the case with Nathan since he suggested the sweater. I guess it's scary for me because it says, "Oooooo. This is real. Hope you're ready." Sometimes I question having started a relationship so soon after separating (October) and divorcing (February). I didn't question it at all until I mentioned wanting to get married again and a friend asked if I was ready. Of course I still struggle with thoughts of that past relationship and how it went wrong, but I know it won't be mending. So it's not that I want to return to that. It's more of a fear that Nathan will also get bored, or decide that he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now, or change his mind on some crucial point. And it scares the hell out of me. I need to get past this because Nathan is a completely different person, and it's unfair to him in a way that I even think these things. So, I have decided to embark on this sweater the way some of my friends have done prayer shawls.

I have never made a prayer shawl, but my understanding is that they are knit up with positive thoughts and prayers for the recipient. You try to keep these up through the knitting. So as I knit this sweater, I'll remember how Nathan and I met and the dates we've been on. I'll think about the things I learned in my marriage and how I can hopefully do some things differently (and I will not allow myself to dwell on that failed relationship). I'll pray that during difficult times/disagreements we'll strive to be understanding of each other and kind. If I can do this and make a wearable sweater, I think it will good.

Sweet!

Today I spent most of the morning with Nathan, and then I met up with some friends for a late lunch. After lunch I went to the yarn store for a bit. I'm glad I got there later in the day and didn't plan to stay long because the air was out. Diane propped the door open, and it felt better since the air outside was nice and fresh from a rain. I worked on my two at a time socks, Joy worked on her cardigan, and Tina pondered future projects. The air is supposed to be back up and running tomorrow, so I'll go back and hopefully make enough progress to post about.
When I got home, I read a little on the deck. I bought Janet Evanovich's Finger Lickin' Fifteen yesterday and have enjoyed it so far. I think her characters are funny, and it's a good, light read. Since being home I have also had an unconquerable sweet tooth. I ate a delicious peach, a snack size 100 Grand (singular because it was the last one), and homemade smores. I don't know what my deal is. Maybe I need to be sweeter? Or maybe it was the marshmallow fluff sandwich mentioned in the book that started me off on this path? Either way, I'm done for the evening.

nests

My second floor apartment has a little back deck, and sometimes my dog Jeff and I go out there when it's not too hot. I've noticed there's a certain spot that he goes to and stares down at the neighbor's deck. He goes there and watches and scratches at the porch. I finally decided to see what was down there, so I got on my hands and knees and peered through the slats, and I saw a robin's nest. I could only see one egg, but it's beautiful. It's my favorite shade of blue. I would probably look at the nest more too, now; however, this requires me to crouch down with my ass in the air, and I would hate to know what the neighbors would think! I'll just leave nest watching to Jeff.

I'm looking forward to wandering around today and looking at local art. Our town has the Firefly Festival today and tomorrow, and a former student of mine has some work in it. Last year I went, but I was a volunteer and it was miserably hot. So, while I got to see all the booths, I didn't really get to enjoy it like I will this year. I would like to find a nice little affordable piece that I could get for my nest. Maybe something with that robin's egg blue in it.

coaching?

Yesterday I got a call about being an assistant soccer coach for one of our middle schools. I asked him to give me a call back in a week so I could think it over, and I'm leaning toward not doing it. The extra money would be good, of course, with the possibility of moving into a house in the late winter/early spring. Not to mention yarn lust. But I don't think it's worth it. The position would be from August 3rd to September 25th or so, and it is HOT here during that time. Practice starts at 5:30 so it would be starting to get more comfortable out, but that's when I normally get home from knitting and Nathan and I do dinner together. Also, I have already done the assistant soccer coach thing at the high school. I did that for two years and it had it's pros and cons.

Most of them were sweet and hard working, but some of them were terrors. For example, sometimes we would get them on the field for a game, and one would notice she still had earrings in, so she would hand them to me. I'd put them in a sandwich bag and she'd get them back after the game. Just our little system for that. One day a girl had her hand closed around something to hand it to me, and I assumed it was earrings or some such she forgot, so I took it. It turned out to be the gum she had been chewing. Yep, the job had its cons. At that point I was fed up with it all and would have simply left and quit if I didn't think it would have been a bad example for the other girls. I let her parents know about it, and she apologized, but still. What makes a kid think that something like that is okay to do?

I work at a school where obedience and respect are expected of the students. They are to follow directions the first time given, and not so much as to roll their eyes at a staff member or another student. I don't think I could go from that environment to another one like I experienced at times as an assistant coach. It would be too frustrating.

Another concern is that I was doing the assistant thing during the earliest part of my marriage, which ended unofficially in October, legally in February when the papers were signed. I don't put too much weight on having accepted this extra job, especially since I only did it for the first two years of marriage, but it did affect us. I was often just exhausted when I got home from practice or from games and just wanted to sleep. Not to mention the obvious time it took away from us being together. I can't say he minded this very much as he was very independent, but I would have liked to have spent more time together. I don't want to risk making the same mistakes in my new relationship.

So, I guess I'm not going to do it. I think I've become more selfish of my time than I was when I first started working, and I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. I don't slack on any of my duties at school, and I am willing to help out whenever I can while I'm there, but I don't want to commit to anything after hours. I want to spend my spare time with Nathan, my friends, and my yarn. I also think it's better for my students indirectly because if I'm not as stressed about my time and personal relationships, they are bound to benefit from my being more energetic than I might be otherwise.

B. O. B. (babies on brain)

Tennessee summers can be so hot that I just want to stay indoors and sleep some days. Today I didn't get up until almost nine o'clock. This is late in comparison to what time I get up during the school year. I know part of it was wanting to continue a dream I was having. In it, my boyfriend and I were going to have a baby, and we were trying to come up with a name. We agreed on Jack (which I don't actually like that much in reality) and I woke up. Of course when I went back to sleep, that dream didn't continue.

I have babies on the brain because one of my close friends just had a little girl on Sunday, and one of my coworkers just found out that she is expecting. I knitted Keli a little, pink wrap dress for her baby, and I look forward to making something for Lisa's as well. Baby patterns are so cute and work up quickly most of the time. I'll have to finish up a few other projects before starting something for Lisa's, and maybe by that time they'll know the gender.
Today, I'm going to Yarn Frenzy to take a two at a time, toe up sock class. I actually took the first part of it back in the winter, and I've started a pair. They're almost from the toe to the heel, but I put them down and never went back to them. I'm ready to finish them up and cross them off my list of projects in progress.

organizing

Last week I organized my yarn stash. Today I'm going to help my friend organize two rooms at her house. I am beginning to worry that this is too big of a leap in the organization department. A simple stash vs. not only one room, but two? I'm concerned because I want to do a great job working with her, and I have never been to her house. I should have thought of a pre-work visit before the morning of. At least I'll know this next time, if another opportunity like this comes up.

I might also start some socks today. I was flipping through two of my sock books last night, looking for inspiration and simplicity. I love the basic 64 stitch sock pattern, but I want to branch out. I've had these books since winter and haven't made a single item from either. I did use a cuff pattern from one, but I'm going to rip that sock and start over. I'm thinking about using two circulars instead of my beloved double pointed ones because the illustrations in Socks A La Carte made it look easy. I'll post pictures of progress as I work. The socks will be done in Koigu and are for my friend Emma, who gave me the yarn to do up a pair for her. When did I get it? Around the same time I got those books I mentioned. In my defense, I did do her first pair. I'm such a slacker. Luckily, she is very sweet and laid back. I will get these done before the first hint of a chilly day so she can enjoy them through the fall and winter.

Here is part of the cuff for Emma's socks. In about half an inch, I'll be able to start the pattern.